About Me

I am Canadian. That used to be just an identifier on my passport, something I rarely ever thought about, and I miss those days. I miss not having to care too much about my national identity. Recent events, however, have forced us to become patriotic. I hate the term 'nationalistic', it brings to mind a lot of dark stuff, but collective anger directed at the orange potato down south and our collective pride has definitely made all of us more nationalistic. We as a nation have made a lot of mistakes and are guilty of some horrible shit, but we also have a lot to be proud of. And despite the bad, as a great man once said 'I can proudly sew my nation's flag on my backpack.'

We've come together in a way I never thought was possible, and we have the US to thank for that.

Elbows up.

I'm a Xennial. I'm technically a Millennial but I have way more in common with my Gen X sister and partner than other Millennials. I grew up in a time before the internet, where nobody knew who was calling (call display was a fancy new feature!), personal computers were the wave of the future that only a fraction of the population had, Nintendo was the best thing ever, and if you wanted to watch a tv show or movie you had to make sure you were home in time or set your VCR to tape it. I know I sound like one of those old people, but I really do miss my unconnected childhood. The internet has done a lot of good connecting people across the world, but it also came with a heaping dose of bad along with it.

I am an Athiest. I was born into evangelical christianity, converted to orthodox judaism, and realised about 6-7 years ago that organised religion actually caused a lot of harm in my life. I will probably rant about it quite a bit in my blog, but my journey through therapy and self discovery led me to examine a lot of default settings in my life, and make my own choices. This was one of the hardest, and the one I'm most proud of.

I'm Queer. This was a journey for me. Growing up religious meant suppressing everything about myself that didn't fit into their narrative. I kept hearing about 'the gays' and 'the lezzies' from my parents, derogatory terms thrown about in derision at the 'others' who were all evil sinners destined for hell because of their wicked ways, and was confident that that couldn't possibly have anything to do with me.

So when I hit puberty and started feeling things that didn't fit, I tamped that shit down and ignored it.

Fast forward to my break from religion, and with all the closet doors suddenly blown off the hinges, of course I'm bisexual. And then five years later I learned the term 'aegosexual' that explained a lot of what I was feeling and realised of course I'm also somehow asexual at the same time. And those feelings of fearing being trapped in a marriage or monogamous relationship that I had my whole life? Of course I'm polyamorous.

Turns out, suppression doesn't make the thing go away. Funny, that.

I am a Gamer. Maybe not in the typical way people think of when they hear that term, but that's also been part of who I am since the 80s. I remember playing Dig Dug on my friend's Atari, I was a Nintendo kid right up until I purchased an N64 and Gamecube with my own money from my first paying jobs. And now I play Baldur's Gate 3 and Valheim and Don't Starve and Dispatch. I have a ton of games waiting to be played, once I find the time, but given the drama with AAA developers, most are older games, or indie games.

I'm a fanfic writer, always have been. My first fanfiction was written with a pencil and paper in my grade 3 English class when I was given a creative writing assignment, and I've been coming up with stories ever since. I met my best friend because she was reading my work over my shoulder on the school bus, and now she's my beta reader. Fanfic has always been a part of my identity and, while I have taken breaks (some decades long), I always come back to my first love. It's good to be home.